Erotic massage etiquette: a respectful guide

Practitioners who work in erotic massage have consistent observations about what makes a client easy or difficult to work with. Almost none of it is complicated. The clients who are well-regarded are the ones who communicate clearly, show up clean and on time, don’t try to renegotiate the service during the session, and treat the practitioner as a professional doing a job.

Here’s what that looks like in practice.

Before your appointment

Book with accurate information. If you have any health conditions that affect how you can be touched (skin conditions, injuries, recent surgery), mention this when you book. Not because the practitioner needs your medical history, but because it helps them do the session safely.

Confirm your appointment. A brief message the day of — “confirming my 7pm appointment” — is normal and appreciated. It reduces no-shows from both sides and confirms the practitioner is also ready.

Arrive clean. Shower the day of your appointment. If you’re coming from work or a long commute, arriving 5 minutes early to use the venue’s facilities (if they have them) is considerate. Basic body hygiene is not optional.

Don’t wear heavy cologne or perfume. Strong fragrance in a close-contact setting is unpleasant for the practitioner and can mask the natural olfactory cues that are part of the erotic experience. Light or none.

Don’t arrive drunk or high. This is non-negotiable at reputable venues. A practitioner who determines you’re intoxicated may decline to see you. Intoxication also just makes the session worse — perception is dulled, communication is impaired, and the post-session logistics become awkward.

Know what you’re booking. Arrive having already read what the venue offers. Don’t walk in expecting to negotiate a completely different service. The session menu was available before you arrived.

On arrival

Be punctual. Arriving 5 minutes early is appropriate. Arriving 15 minutes early is inconvenient. Arriving 10 minutes late cuts into your session time and, depending on the venue, may require cancellation if another client is scheduled after you.

Be pleasant. You don’t need to be charming or entertaining. Normal courtesy — hello, thanks — is all that’s required. Practitioners who work with pleasant clients book them again. Practitioners who work with unpleasant clients don’t.

Follow their intake process. Some venues have a brief check-in before showing you to the room. Some ask you to fill out a form. Some just show you straight to the room. Follow their process rather than trying to skip it.

During the session

Communicate if something is uncomfortable. If a technique or position is physically uncomfortable, say so. “Can you adjust that?” is a sentence you’re allowed to use. Good practitioners want to know — they’re not able to feel what you feel.

Don’t try to renegotiate. The session was described when you booked. During the session is not the right moment to ask for services that weren’t on the menu. This is the single most common friction point between clients and practitioners, and it’s entirely avoidable.

Stay present. Check out of your phone before you walk in. The practitioner is providing you with an experience that benefits from your attention. Interrupting a session to check messages is rude and breaks the continuity of the work.

Don’t grab or direct. The practitioner knows what they’re doing. Grabbing hands or physically redirecting the session without verbal communication is a boundary violation. If you want something different, use words: “Could you spend more time on X?” is always appropriate; grabbing is not.

Tip appropriately. See the tipping section below.

Tipping

Tipping is standard and expected in Montreal’s erotic massage scene. A few guidelines:

When to tip: After every session where the practitioner did the work as described. Tipping is not conditional on having an exceptional session — it’s standard for a competent one. Reserve no-tip for sessions where something was genuinely wrong.

How much: $20–$40 on a session in the $150–$250 range. Scale up slightly for longer sessions. For a session you found exceptional, $50–$80 is appropriate and will be remembered.

Cash is easiest. Bring the right amount in cash before you arrive. Some practitioners accept Interac e-transfer for tips; fewer accept card. Having cash means no logistical discussion at the end of a session.

When to tip: At the end of the session, before you leave. Not at the beginning. Not in the middle.

After the session

Get up when you’re ready, not before. Taking a minute after the session ends before jumping up and dressing is normal. Rushing out immediately before you’ve collected yourself is awkward for everyone.

Thank them. A simple “thank you, I enjoyed that” is the entirety of what’s needed. Excessive debrief, commentary on the practitioner’s technique, or prolonged post-session conversation is not required and often not welcome.

Leave on time. If another client is scheduled after you, the practitioner needs you out. Pay, dress, thank, leave.

Rebooking. If you want to see this practitioner again, say so before you leave or message later. Practitioners with good clients try to accommodate them — being a client who confirms, shows up on time, and tips appropriately means your messages get answered.

What to do if something went wrong

If the session was materially different from what was described (wrong service, significant hygiene issues, practitioner conduct that crossed a line): you don’t have to tip. You can leave during the session if something is wrong. You can report the venue to us and to other review platforms.

If something crossed into assault or coercion: Montreal police do take reports from erotic massage clients. SPVM non-emergency line: 514-280-2222.

The honest summary

Most erotic massage etiquette reduces to: be clean, be on time, communicate clearly, tip fairly, and treat the practitioner as someone doing a professional job. Clients who do these things consistently are the clients practitioners prefer, which means they get better service, more availability, and stronger working relationships over time. The formula is simple.